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”Her mother says, “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman. You live in an 8 bedroom mansion. You drive a $250,000 Ferrari. You get $2,000 a week allowance. You take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?NOW THAT’S A JEWISH MOTHER!✧ ✧ ✧From dorsetmike‎She says “Why don’t you say you love me anymore?”He replies “I said it once, I’ll let you know if the situation changes.”✧ ✧ ✧This one is from fmwarmac‎So I asked my wife, “Why do you keep buying plants when you just kill them?”She said, “To remind you what I’m capable of.”✧ ✧ ✧Last week I bought a brand new boomerang, even though I can’t seem to get rid of the old one.People who put some money away each week just aren’t shopping hard enough.I bought some fridge magnets. So far, I have 10 fridges.A jellyfish walks into a hardware store and buys ten drills.Supermarket: a place where you can spend a half-hour looking for instant coffee.How can you spot people who can’t count to twenty? They’re in. Her poor little boyfriend was going to find her hole stretched and bruised after this. Oh well. That was the least of his problems.At long last, you reach bottom, your hips coming together with a solid whip and your cockhead grinding against the mouth of her young womb. You pause. The hard part is over, you did it. You invaded little Stephanie to her deepest depths, places no man had ever reached before."You did it." You whisper softly in Stephanie's ear."I did?" She had had her eyes squeezed closed, poor little thing was really feeling the sensations. Stephanie looked down at the gooey mess where the two of your were one. "Oh my god. Ohmygod ohmygod." She looked up at your incredulous. "You split me in half!" Do you like it?" You smirk. You wouldn't ask, if you didn't know the answer."It hurts....but I think I like that too." A tiny flash of insecurity passed behind her eyes. "Does that make me a slut?" Of course not." You kiss her gently and are pleasantly surprised when she.
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